GREAT Game 7 Blog from Down Goes Brown

Having a hard time picking a winner for tonights Stanley Cup Finals Game 7? Read this and I guarantee you'll have an ever tougher time making heads form tails.

http://www.downgoesbrown.com/


Editor’s note: Due to a scheduling error that is too complicated to explain here, this analysis of the game seven between the Vancouver Canucks and Boston Bruins had to be published twelve hours early. If the game hasn’t happened yet, please close your browser now and come back tomorrow. Thank you for your cooperation.

So here we are. After a six-month season, four rounds of playoffs, and seven gruelling games, the NHL has crowned its champion. The Stanley Cup has been awarded. One fan base is devastated, while another will celebrate late into the night.

In the moments after a thrilling game seven, I’d like to take a moment to address you directly, fans of the winning team.

It seems like only yesterday that your team was struggling through a first round series against your bitter rivals who historically dominate you in the playoffs. But you survived, just barely, thanks to an overtime goal in game seven. Remember the excitement when the winning goal was scored, by that particular player? Little did we know the controversy that awaited them weeks later.

Your team waltzed through the second round against Peter Forsberg’s old team, then beat that non-traditional southern team in the conference finals. And there you were, back in the Stanley Cup finals for the first time in a generation. Who can forget that last time you played for Lord Stanley’s mug, back in the early 90s? I bet you can still picture your team competing furiously, proudly representing those black and yellowish-gold uniforms that they wore then and perhaps still do, before finally going down to a bitter defeat. Damn you, Mark Messier!

But a generation later, you were back, and this time the opportunity would not be wasted. It wasn’t easy. It was a vicious series, in which your team persevered despite several sickening cheapshots by the opposing team. You endured your team being taunted with immature finger waves. You watched devastating hits on Nathan Horton and Mason Raymond, 50% of which you thought were unquestionably dirty. The entire hockey world outside of your particular city was united against your team, you told us, incessantly. And let’s not even mention those shameless homer announcers on the other team’s broadcast.

And then game seven. The series had seen it all, from overtime thrillers to lopsided blowouts to everything in between, and game seven certainly fit into one of those categories. All eyes were on Roberto Luongo. Many thought he would rise to the occasion while others thought he would crumble, and in the end we now know they were right. Without question, this game will be his defining legacy.

The end of the game must seem like a blur to you now. There was that goal scored by that one guy, and then that big hit with that other guy, then that other thing done by some other guy, and then the Conn Smythe won by Tim Thomas.

And then, the magic moment you’d been waiting on for four long decades, give or take a year. What fan among you will ever forget the sight of Gary Bettman passing the Stanley Cup into the waiting arms of good old #33? And who says Europeans can’t make great captains? Certainly not anyone who has had the pleasure of watching your team’s leader, a truly unique talent. He certainly is one- or at the very most two-of-a-kind.

And now it’s all over but the riot cleanup. Your bouys are champions. A Stanley Cup banner will be raised in your arena next year. After an agonizing, debilitating, gut-wrenching test of your endurance as a fan, it was all worth it.

But at least you’re not like those fans of the other team. Imagine how devastated they must feel right now. Serves them right, those losers. Thank god you have nothing in common with them.

HILARIOUS BOSTON BRUINS FAN

Maybe you're not a fan of the Canucks, maybe you're not a fan of Bruins. Maybe you're just a hockey fan but you're not quite sure which side of the fence to sit on, then sit down spend a few minutes with Andrew Barber and I'm sure some clarity will sneak upside you...or smack you over the head, either way Enjoy.

NHL Playoffs - All-time Game 7 Statistics

With nine months of hockey in the books, there are only two more hard-fought weeks ahead that seperate two teams from hockey's holy grail...Lord Stanley's Cup. Unfortunately for a third team an agonizing push towards the NHL Championship will come to an end after 99 games played (7 preseason, 82 regular season, and another 20 postseason games). It all comes down to one measely game for both the Tampa Bay Lightning and Boston Bruins, in tonights Eastern Conference Final. The greatest game in sports, something that is unique to North American sports, the seventh and deciding game, with a trip to Stanley Cup Finals on thel line and the right to fight the Western Conference Champion Vancouver Canucks.

So in honour of the Great Game 7, here are all the stats you ever wanted to know about the NHL's Game 7:


TOP THINGS TO KNOW
1. Since the NHL went to 7-game series in all four rounds in 1987, no team has won at least two Game 7s in the series played before the Stanley Cup Final and then won the title. Both the Bruins and Lightning each have won a Game 7 this playoff year already.

2. The Bruins and Lightning winner will face off against the Canucks in the Stanley Cup Final. Since the 2001-02 season, the Bruins are 7-2-1 against the Canucks. The Lightning meanwhile have won three of their last four games against the Canucks after going 3-12-4 in the previous 19 games against them.

3. The Bruins will be playing in two Game 7s in a single playoff year for the first time in team history. They had lost their previous four Game 7s before they won against the Canadiens this year in the Conference Quarterfinals. The Lightning are 3-0 all-time in Game 7 and are one of three teams to have never lost in a Game 7. The others are the Minnesota Wild (2-0) and the Florida Panthers (1-0).

4. We are assured of one streak ending regardless of the winner of this game. The Bruins, Lightning and Canucks all won their Conference Quarterfinals series in 7 games. That means this year's Stanley Cup champion will be the first since the 1992 Penguins to win the Stanley Cup after being taken to the limit in the "1st round" of the playoffs.

5. Dating back to 2002, in each of the last four instances of a Conference Finals series going seven games, the team that won the game also won the Stanley Cup. In fact, six of the last seven won the Stanley Cup with the only exception being the 2000 Stars, who lost to the Devils -- one of the teams that won a Game 7 in the Eastern Conference Finals.


ALL-TIME IN GAME 7s
Best Win Pct. In Game 7

Win pct W-L
1.000 Tampa Bay Lightning 3-0
1.000 Minnesota Wild 2-0
1.000 Florida Panthers 1-0
.714 San Jose Sharks 5-2
.667 Edmonton Oilers 6-3
.600 Chicago Blackhawks 6-4
.600 Philadelphia Flyers 9-6
.591 Detroit Red Wings 13-9
.591 Montreal Canadiens 13-9
.571 Toronto Maple Leafs 12-9
.571 Hartford-Carolina Hurricanes 4-3
.538 Pittsburgh Penguins 7-6
.500 Boston Bruins 10-10
.500 Que.-Colorado Avalanche 6-6
.500 Vancouver Canucks 5-5
.500 Anaheim Ducks 2-2
.462 K.C.-Col.-New Jersey Devils 6-7
.455 Minnesota-Dallas Stars 5-6
.429 St. Louis Blues 6-8
.429 New York Islanders 3-4
.429 Los Angeles Kings 3-4
.417 Atlanta-Calgary Flames 5-7
.375 New York Rangers 3-5
.222 Washington Capitals 2-7
.143 Buffalo Sabres 1-6
.000 Oak.-Cal.-Clev. Barons (1967-77) 0-1
.000 Ottawa Senators 0-4
.000 Winnipeg-Phoenix Coyotes 0-5

This is the 6th Game 7 of this postseason, which is tied for the 2nd most since the NHL went to 7-game series in all four rounds in 1987. Only the 1994 postseason saw more Game 7 action.

Most Game 7s In One Postseason Since 1987

1994 7
2011 6
2009 6
2003 6
1992 6

Most Game 7s, Head Coaches

Mike Keenan 10 (5-5)
Scotty Bowman 9 (6-3)
Pat Burns 9 (6-3)
Pat Quinn 9 (5-4)
Bob Hartley 7 (4-3)
Jacques Martin 7 (2-5)
Darryl Sutter 6 (3-3)
Bryan Murray 6 (2-4)

Most Game 7 Wins for Goalies
Game 7 App

Patrick Roy 6 - 13
Ed Belfour 5 - 6
Martin Brodeur 5 - 9
Cam Ward 4 - 4
Grant Fuhr 4 - 6
Harry Lumley 4 - 6
Curtis Joseph 4 - 7

Most Game 7 Losses for Goalies
Game 7 App

Patrick Roy 7 - 13
Martin Brodeur 4 - 9
Felix Potvin 4 - 7
Chris Osgood 4 - 6
Tom Barrasso 3 - 5
Jon Casey 3 - 4
Curtis Joseph 3 - 7
Patrick Lalime 3 - 3

Most Career Game 7 Goals

Glenn Anderson 7
Jeremy Roenick 6
Trevor Linden 6
Wayne Gretzky 6
Wendel Clark 6
Jeff Friesen 5
Joe Nieuwendyk 5
Geoff Courtnall 5
Jari Kurri 5
Mark Messier 5

Most Career Game 7 Points

Doug Gilmour 13
Wayne Gretzky 12
Trevor Linden 12
Mark Messier 12
Glenn Anderson 12

Most All-Time Game 7 Appearances

Patrick Roy 13
Scott Stevens 13
Stephane Yelle 12
Glenn Anderson 12
Ken Daneyko 12
Dave Andreychuk 11
Doug Gilmour 11
Al MacInnis 11

Best W-L by Skaters in Game 7s Since 1967-68, Min. 4 Games

GP W L WIN%
Lapierre, Maxim 6 6 0 1.000
Crisp, Terry 6 6 0 1.000
Friesen, Jeff 5 5 0 1.000
Dupont, Andre 5 5 0 1.000
Cullen, Matt 4 4 0 1.000
LaRose, Chad 4 4 0 1.000
Staal, Eric 4 4 0 1.000
Sweeney, Don 4 4 0 1.000
Roberts, Gordie 4 4 0 1.000
Burridge, Randy 4 4 0 1.000
Larmer, Steve 4 4 0 1.000
Marshall, Grant 4 4 0 1.000
Leetch, Brian 4 4 0 1.000
Fedotenko, Ruslan 4 4 0 1.000

Best W-L By Goalies in NHL History, Min. 3 Games

GP W L WIN%
Ward, Cam 4 4 0 1.000
Bower, Johnny 3 3 0 1.000
Dryden, Ken 3 3 0 1.000
Belfour, Ed 6 5 1 0.833
Hrudey, Kelly 4 3 1 0.750
Parent, Bernie 4 3 1 0.750
Moog, Andy 4 3 1 0.750

Game 7 Hat Tricks

May 29 1993 CF Wayne Gretzky LA at TOR 5-4
Apr 30 1992 DSF Geoff Courtnall VAN vs WPG 5-0
Apr 16 1991 DSF Esa Tikkanen EDM at CGY 5-4 OT
May 13 1975 SF Rick MacLeish PHI vs NYI 4-1
Apr 9 1964 SF Dave Keon TOR at MTL 3-1
Apr 3 1945 SF Carl Liscombe DET vs BOS 5-3 (4 goals)
>>>Esa Tikkanen's 3rd goal was the OT winner. Carl Liscombe is the only one to have a 4-goal game in a Game 7.

Game 7 Shutouts

DATE SERIES TEAMS GOALIE
Apr 27, 2011 CQF TB 1 at PIT 0 Roloson
Apr 21, 2008 CQF BOS 0 at MTL 5 Price (rookie)
May 3, 2006 CQF ANA 3 at CGY 0 Bryzgalov (rookie)
Apr 19, 2004 CQF MTL 2 at BOS 0 Theodore
June 9, 2003 F ANA 0 at NJ 3 Brodeur
May 31, 2002 CF COL 0 at DET 7 Hasek
May 15, 2002 CSF SJ 0 at COL 1 Roy
May 14, 2002 CSF OTT 0 at TOR 3 Joseph
Apr 29, 2002 CQF LA 0 at COL 4 Roy
May 4, 1999 CQF STL 1 at PHX 0 Fuhr
May 4, 1998 CQF EDM 4 at COL 0 Joseph
Apr 29, 1997 CQF PHX 0 at ANA 3 Hebert
May 16, 1996 CSF STL 0 at DET 1 Osgood
May 18, 1995 CQF WSH 0 at PIT 3 Wregget
May 15, 1993 DF STL 0 at TOR 6 Potvin (rookie)
Apr 30, 1992 DSF WPG 0 at VAN 5 McLean
Apr 15, 1991 DSF NJ 0 at PIT 4 Pietrangelo
May 3, 1987 DF TOR 0 at DET 3 Hanlon
Apr 25, 1976 QF LA 0 at BOS 3 Gilbert
Apr 26, 1975 QF NYI 1 at PIT 0 Resch (rookie)
May 1, 1965 F CHI 0 at MTL 4 Worsley
Apr 25, 1964 F DET 0 at TOR 4 Bower
Apr 9, 1950 SF TOR 0 at DET 1 Lumley

Game 7 Overtimes

DATE SERIES TEAMS WINNING GOAL TIME
Apr 27, 2011 CQF MTL 3 at BOS 4 Horton 5:43
Apr 26, 2011 CQF CHI 1 at VAN 2 Burrows 5:22
May 14, 2009 CSF CAR 3 at BOS 2 Walker 18:46
Apr 22, 2008 CQF PHI 3 at WSH 2 Lupul 6:06 (PP)
Apr 19, 2004 CQF CGY 3 at VAN 2 Gelinas 1:25
Apr 22, 2003 CQF MIN 3 at COL 2 Brunette 3:25
May 10, 2001 CSF PIT 3 at BUF 2 Kasparaitis 13:01
May 4, 1999 CQF STL 1 at PHX 0 P. Turgeon 17:59
Apr 29, 1997 CQF EDM 4 at DAL 3 Marchant 12:26
Apr 29, 1997 CQF OTT 2 at BUF 3 D.Plante 5:24
May 16, 1996 CSF STL 0 at DET 1 Yzerman 21:15
May 19, 1995 CQF SJ 5 at CGY 4 Whitney 21:54
May 27, 1994 CF NJ 1 at NYR 2 Matteau 24:24
Apr 30, 1994 CQF VAN 4 at CGY 3 Bure 22:20
May 14, 1993 DF NYI 4 at PIT 3 Volek 5:16
May 1, 1993 DSF TOR 4 at DET 3 Borschevsky 2:35
May 1, 1992 DSF HFD 2 at MTL 3 R.Courtnall 25:26
Apr 16, 1991 DSF EDM 5 at CGY 4 Tikkanen 6:58
Apr 15, 1989 DSF VAN 3 at CGY 4 Otto 19:21
Apr 16, 1988 DSF PHI 4 at WSH 5 D.Hunter 5:57
Apr 18, 1987 DSF NYI 3 at WSH 2 LaFontaine 68:47
Apr 29, 1986 DF HFD 1 at MTL 2 C.Lemieux 5:55
May 2, 1985 DF QUE 3 at MTL 2 P.Stastny 2:22
Apr 22, 1984 DF STL 3 at MIN 4 Payne 6:00
Apr 24, 1983 DF BUF 2 at BOS 3 Park 1:52
May 10, 1979 SF BOS 4 at MTL 5 Lambert 9:33
Apr 29, 1978 QF TOR 2 at NYI 1 McDonald 4:13
Apr 16, 1972 QF STL 2 at MIN 1 O'Shea 10:07
May 3, 1968 SF MIN 1 at STL 2 Schock 22:50
Apr 16, 1954 F MTL 1 at DET 2 Leswick 4:29
Apr 23, 1950 F NYR 3 at DET 4 Babando 28:31
Apr 9, 1950 SF TOR 0 at DET 1 Reise 8:39
Apr 2, 1939 SF NYR 1 at BOS 2 Hill 48:00

Greatest Margin of Victory, Game 7s All-Time

Margin
5/31/02 COL 0 at DET 7 7
4/30/90 STL 2 at CHI 8 6
5/15/93 STL 0 at TOR 6 6
4/27/10 DET 6 at PHX 1 5
4/21/08 BOS 0 at MTL 5 5
4/22/03 TOR 1 at PHI 6 5
4/18/68 MIN 9 at LA 4 5
4/30/92 WPG 0 at VAN 5 5

A SAD RETURN...RIP MACHO MAN

I'm sorry for the delay but....IM BACK!!

Many things have happened in the last month, I make no apologies for my absence but I will try to explain it. Most times I would be happy if these things all happened in 6 months let alone a 30 days span:

1) My wife was finally able to join me in Canada

2) A TSN work trip to the X Games Asia in Shanghai where I was able to interview Bob Burnquist, Andy MacDonald, Dennis McCoy, Pierre-Luc Gagnon, Chad Kagy and many more.

3) Have secured and moved into a new house in Toronto

4) Began Editing on my X Games Top 10 Show

5) And in final preparations for a TSN work trip to Southern California where I will be interviewing Tony Hawk, Danny Way, and hopefully Shawn White.

So an interesting month it was too say the least and I haven't even mentioned that my beloved Vancouver Canucks are 1 win away from the Stanley Cup Final, which means you won't hear much from me until they have won the elusive trophy.

A busy man I am, but not too busy to mourn the passing of a legend we will all miss. I have worked in sports newsroom for the past 4 years and there is seldom any news that would make an entire newsroom stop and drop what they are doing, especially in hockey mad Canada, but this past Friday that exact scenario came to fruition:

2pm Friday, May 20th and a simple email comes through the news wires from TMZ.com of all places..."Randy Macho Man Savage dies in Car Crash". And with that a collective gasp was let out, followed by a reassurance that everyone else just read the same thing you did, and then the third step....a collective "ohhhhhhh Yeahhhhhhhh". So to Randy Poffo, nothing I could write would ever do you justice, although I'm sure my friend (and former St. Louis radio personality) Dan Duffy and his dead on impression of you would...here is a classic clip of the Macho Man at his colouful best on the Arsenio Hall show.

RIP Macho Man Randy Savage aka Randy Poffo....you brought hours of entertainment (and the flying elbow drop) to millions of kids worldwide.

2011 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS - VANCOUVER CANUCKS

The Spring Lockdown has begun for 95% of Canadian men who are hoping that Lord Stanley's Cup will make it's return above the 49th parallel for the first time since 1993, the year the Montreal Canadiens last sipped from hockey's holy grail.

Every year the NHL playoffs begin what should be two months of excitement and anxiety for Canadian hockey fans, but sadly most years the playoff drive lasts a mere few weeks. But if all things go to plan, Canada's long suffering drought should come to an end if the Vancouver Canucks can replicate their regular season effort: #1 in points, #1 Goals For, #1 in Goals Against, #1 on the Power Play and #3 on the Penalty Kill...The Canucks are my pick to win the Stanley Cup.

Here are my picks for the rest of the series:

Eastern Conference Qtr Finals:

(1) Washington def (8) NY Rangers

(7) Buffalo def (2) Philadelphia

(3) Boston def (6) Montreal

(5) Tampa Bay def (4) Pittsburgh

Western Conference Qtr Finals:

(1) Vancouver def (8) Chicago

(2) San Jose def LA Kings

(3) Detroit def Phoenix

(4) Anaheim def Nashville

Eastern Conference Semi Finals (based on predicted 1st round results)

(1) Washington def (7) Buffalo

(3) Boston def (5) Tampa Bay

Western Conference Semi Finals (based on predicted 1st round results)

(1) Vancouver def (4) Anaheim

(3) Detroit def (2) San Jose

Eastern Conference Finals

(3) Boston def (1) Washington

Western Conference Finals

(1) Vancouver def (3) Detroit

Stanley Cup Winner

Vancouver def Boston in 6 games

So there you have it, email me, or post a comment on here, and we'll see who the better man or woman is. Or post your picks on our Facebook page.

Beckham's Trick Shot Video Real or Fake??

REAL? FAKE? DON'T KNOW, DON'T REALLY CARE!

What I do find interesting, is the backlash this latest entry into trick shot advertising library seems to be creating. Have a read through the YouTube page comments and you'll see they're weighted heavily in the Beckham Hater/Disbeliever category, why? Where were all the haters for Roger Federer's Trick Shot? Was it the fact that Beckham was blatantly shilling for Diet Pepsi? Can't be, R-Fed was mugging for Gillette in his. Was it that Federer's was deemed more legit? I think you'll find both are of the same integrity as the other, in fact if I were a betting man, I would say they are probably produced by the same ad agency.

Real, or Fake? Your thoughts??

FRESH TRACK OF THE WEEK

MARTIN SOLVEIG - HELLO (Original Mix)

As I flush out the direction and develop this whole online presence you'll be treated to new additions here and there, the first being this little nugget of musical goodness. Now you may be asking, why music in a sports blog? CUZ I SAID SO!!

My rationale being that without music there would be no athletes. You just said WHAT??? Think about it, its 7am, you're exhausted, its time to train, what's the first thing you do after lacing up your shoes...headphones! Still not convinced? Rocky Balboa was just a beefed up Philly street punk until 'Eye of the Tiger' came along...Check Mate.

So to inaugurate this premiere edition I have kicked things off with a kickass song and a video featuring tennis stars Novak Djokovic and Gael Monfils. I present to you 'Hello' from Martin Solveig feat. Ravonette, both the long and short versions.

Think you have a better sports sounding name than Fresh Track Of The Week, send me your suggestions, I'll pick the best ones and hold a vote. If yours get used, you'll get credit of course. WOWEE!!

Stunning Back Flip Penalty Kick

So you say 'sawccer' is not exciting...well, you're right, most of the time.

But have you seen the Swiss Under 16 League? Of course not. Well, now you have a reason to, thanks to FC Baar's Joonas Jokinen and his stunning backflip penalty kick. Maybe if more goals were scored like this one from the spot, more Americans could find themselves taking an interest in the sport.

Personally I still find this highly unlikely, unless you take Jokinen's backlfip move and make it legal all over the pitch. Imagine, drop kicks and uppercuts via the football boot. Add in a rear-naked choke here and there, and might just make the sport violent enough to take some marketshare away from the Big 4 sports in America.

By the way, FC Baar defeated FC Sempach 3-0, thanks in part to Jokinen's new signature from the spot, which you can watch here.

Lebron - The Animated Version(s)

As if Lebron James didn't already lampoon himself enough during "The Decision" last summer!

'The King' has now followed in the footsteps of Wayne Gretzky, Michael Jordan and Bo Jackson, in creating an animated version of his self, or selves in his case. You see, where the above mentioned Pro Stars gang teamed up to sell cereal, Lebron has ditched D-Wade and Chris Bosh in his attempts to sell Nike shoes.

In their place are 3 other alter-ego injustice-fighting versions of Lebron: The Kid - a fun-loving wannabe B-baller, The Athlete - Lebron as we know him now, Business - the smooth talking ladies/money man envied by the kids, that is until they grow up and realize he's a gangster, and Wise - the patio-dwelling, rocking chair bound, advice-wielding old man.

Created, Exec. Produced, and featuring the voice of Cleveland's Public Enemy #1, The series debuted on YouTube Monday, April 4th to little fanfare, that is if you go by page views which were only at 771 at the time of writing, 11:30am EST, April 6th. After checking it out for myself, I don't know which part is more offensive, the 'Bing' product placement or the blatant rip-off of 'The Usual Suspects'??

UPDATE: One day later and all mentions to the Lebrons cartoon are now deleted on Youtube. Maybe it has something to do with the paltry 700 views???

Zizzou Falls Flat On His Face

The latter stages of his career have not been too kind to one of football's greatest, Zinedine Zidane.

First there was the less than enjoyable experience of the being ejected from the 2006 World Cup Final for head-butting Italy's Marco Materazzi. Then just last year, Zidane got his hands involved with the Qatar 2022 World Cup bid. For a country with 45C summer temperatures and no world class stadiums, FIFA executives and the three-time FIFA World Player of the Year, sure took a shining to the tiny Middle East Nation and their bags full of money. Zidane was reportedly paid $15 million for endorsing the successful bid.

And now the latest "misstep" in the French national's careers occured in a match with children no less. My advice...He should've done this in the WC Final against Italy, and beat the Azzurri at their own game!

By the way...can anyone tell me what the tiny sultanate of less than 2 million people is going to do with 12 - 40 thousand plus seat stadiums when the World Cup is over with???

The Olympic Blessing

Every time a Canadian city has hosted the Olympic Games, the following season their NHL team has gone on to clinch the President's Trophy for first overall: 1976/77 Montreal Canadiens, 1988/89 Calgary Flames, 2010/11 Vancouver Canucks. Both Montreal and Calgary also went on to win the Stanley Cup those years, will Vancouver now follow suit??

AMERICAN FAN RUINS MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR JAPAN

Another shining example of the proud ignorance. This time coming from "The Home of the Brave".

"Konichiwa B*$#hes!" I guess anyone juiced up on liquid courage would be brave when surrounded by 100,000 people, but this is horribly offensive.

Brave is standing in an 8 hour line for water. Brave is walking home for 5 hours to be with your family because the trains aren't running. Brave is helping your neighbour look for their child while you're wife is still missing. Brave is refusing to panic even after a 9.0 earthquake, a 6m tsunami and a nuclear fiasco all at the same time.

Click Like or Share to show that despite the donkeys of this world, the rest of us are praying for our brothers and sisters in Japan.

BANANAGATE

BANANAGATE CAUGHT ON CAMERA!!

Jim Munro of The Sun, may doubt that the banana thrown in the direction of Brazil's Neymar during Saturday's friendly with Argentina at the Emirates, may not have been racially motivated (and he has some good video evidence). I hope he is right but due to a long history of racial slurs being volleyed around England's football pitches, I think it may be wishful thinking.

CANSECO BROTHERS PULL BAIT & SWITCH AT BOXING EVENT

Apparently Jose Canseco doesn't even have to show up to cash in on his waning celebrity anymore. Cast aside from the celebrity D List, banished from the sports talk rounds, book deals evaporated, the steroid-tainted slugger has turned to the celebrity boxing circuit to earn a paycheque on Saturday night in Florida. Unfortunately for fans at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino and promoter Damon Feldman, it wasn't Jose who graced the ring, but rather twin brother Ozzie.

Now this isn't the first time the twin brothers have pulled a fast one on the public. Ozzie has allegedly been perfecting his role as Jose for years at sports card shows and book signings. He then went legit by appearing as a Jose impersonator in Season 5 of The Surreal Life, meanwhile Jose earned his 50K for the series by donning nothing else but a leopard print bikini and some lipstick in an episode. Good Stuff!

"A bait-and-switch," Feldman told the newspaper. "I'm disgusted".

Unable to pick out the fraud himself, Feldman endured further embarrassment when he was forced to cancel the fight after ringside fans called out the impostor and his differing bicep tattoos. Having already paid half of the $10,000 fight fee in advance, Feldman had Ozzie escorted out of the nightclub by police and wants his money back.

"The guy I thought was Jose kept asking me to pay him in cash before (the fight)," Feldman told the Miami Herald. "I told him I had to pay him by check for business reasons. He said he needed cash. We went back and forth."

Jose Canseco hit back via his Twitter account:

"Be very careful with Damon Feldman who runs celebrity boxing he will not pay you he will not pay you if you fight for him."

Canseco later continued his rant in a tone very reminiscent of one Charlie Sheen:

"the truth is always hidden to the public to create villains and heroes which 1 are you truly...seek the truth before reacting...just remember the media is write 20 percent of 50 percent of the time time...how can you haters being so ignorant its amazing...I am still waiting for an intelligent scenario...by the way e s p n is owned by major league baseball of course they are going to lie."

DING DING! This may be shaping up to be a better fight than the one on Saturday night. Oh wait, it already is.

JOSE CANSECO SWAPS IN TWIN BROTHER FOR BOXING MATCH

TILLAKARATNE DILSHAN, CURSE OR MUSE?

I loathe Tillakaratne Dilshan! Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because of his cricketing skills, and it’s definitely not because he and his twin tower of destruction Upul Tharanga just smashed England in the quarter finals of this year’s World Cup. I hate the Sri Lankan Allrounder entirely for my own idiosyncratic reasons.

Till-awk-a-rawt-nee Dil-shawn, now repeat…and repeat again…this time faster…and faster again! Keep doing this over and over and you’ll have an idea of what goes on in my head, every time I hear the man’s name! No matter what time of the day Dilly’s name crosses my lips, I lie awake in bed hours later, and the only thing going on upstairs in my head is; Tillakaratne Dilshan, Tillakaratne Dilshan, Tillakaratne Dilshan! Keeping me awake at all hours without fail, just like any awful Lady Gaga song would after it has molested my ears for the first time.

For me, the whole problem dates back to my days in the ESPN STAR Sports newsroom, having to pronounce the name for the first time in a highlight pack. Tillakaratne, Tillakaratne…it was like The Little Engine That Could, “I think I can, I think I can”. And it worked, I was able to pronounce his name properly on air, but no matter what I did that night, I couldn’t get the man’s name out of my head, and the same Dilshan record-skip has occurred every other night since, even if I just read his name or glance at a photo of the man.

Confident that I had left the Dilshan curse behind when I returned home to the non-cricket loving nation of Canada, I let my guard down, only to be rick-rolled by the 34 year old again on Saturday. With a headline reading ‘Twin Tons Power Sri Lanka Victory” on Cricinfo.com my curiosity got the better of me. I clicked it and sure enough there it was, a giant photo of TM Dilshan, instantly ruining my night’s sleep in the process.

Tillakaratne Dilshan, Tillakaratne Dilshan, Tillakaratne Dilshan….

WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU A LEMON, MAKE LEMONADE

Lying there, Dilly Anger rising, something different happened this night, instead of opposing the curse I embraced it, recounting the amazing feat…

Partnering with Thanaga, the Sri Lankan openers systematically tore apart England’s bowlers chasing down 230 runs, and cruised to victory by 10 wickets and 63 balls, knocking the two-time runner-ups out of the World Cup. Nevermind the fact that Dilshan had also taken a wicket in England’s innings, it is one of the greatest sporting performances of the year, and no one west of England or east of Australia will ever hear about it.

Unable to find the comfort of my sub-conscience at night, with my curse now transformed to muse, I was able to compose the maiden contribution to this blog. And for that I have to give credit where credit is due, you were a worthy foe Mr. Tillakaratne Dilshan. I thank you for fighting the good fight, the future readers of The Scrum thank you, and most of all Canada thanks you. Why? For giving us a reason to hold our heads high when you were caught out by John Davison after a mere half-century in the group stages…we’ll conveniently forget that your Sri Lankan side beat us by 210 runs.

ESPN Cricinfo - Twin Tons Power Sri Lanka Victory